One of my friends lashed on me yesterday on a joke which I cracked on him with words which he should have not used. I was baffled why is he talking to me like this for no big reason. It was a lame joke which anyone could take on him/her self happily. While he was being rude to me and saying things he reminded me of a past incident where I made fun of him and he got offended, but he never told me and kept bottled up for the right moment. He said rude words to me now because he wanted to make me realize how he felt that time
Quite often all of us do the same when we get offended by someone. Instead of standing up in front of them to say that we did not like what they said/did or we were hurt and felt unhappy, we bottle up our anger for the right moment to pay off. I felt very sad for myfirend that he had to do that because of me and I am really sorry that I didn’t realize that I was offending him before. But now when I think about it, I feel none of us need to be rude or bottle up our anger waiting for the right moment to tell others that we got offended once. To me, it’s being cowardly and not being courageous enough to speak about ones feeling.
I have learned from my bitter experience in the past that it’s always better to be upfront with people you interact with. If I like something about someone I try to go to him/her and say it and it is the same with if I do not like something that someone did or said to me, I try to make sure that I convey them myself in a polite and respectful manner. I do not feel right to bottle up my anger for later use, because it not only come out in a very ugly way but also it troubles me till it’s inside me. I also feel that my friendships give me the right to speak about my feelings openly and I do not need to be rude to them to let them know that I am not happy about something.
Similar to my previous experiment on finding incestuous culture among people through IRC chat channels, I did another experiment to find out how popular it is to use twitter for porn sharing and sex chats. To be honest, initially I joined twitter with a fake account to follow some porn stars. I always had this curiosity to know what they talk about in their day to day life. So I followed some famous and some not so famous porn actress and sadly the only reason they use twitter is to promote their movie release or to tell people when they are coming online for cam chat or when they are performing in a strip club or that they are tested for STDs and can be booked for movies. I found following porn actresses as the most boring experience on twitter. The only porn actress who talks about anything else than when she is getting fucked is Mia Khalifa @miakhalifa.
After getting disappointed from porn actresses I tried to search what else I can find if I search for sex or porn. Interestingly, I bumped into many users with Indian or Pakistani names with a popular word “Bhabhi” in many accounts. These people, presumably with fake accounts are there for sleaze chats, porn pic and animated gifs exchange. I followed around 400 users and shared tweets with pics attached to many of them. I also chatted with personal messages with few of the “Bhabhis”. In Hindi this word means the wife of your elder brother and for some reason in India it can be used in a very naughty way. So all these women are married and are either not happy with their married life or are just looking for some extra spice by anonymously talking to strangers. There were a few accounts with very submissive females who want others to abuse or call out names to them. Most of the tweets sent to them were written using English alphabets but with words from different language presumable Hindi or Urdu.
Some of the popular and very active members I remember were:
@rekhabhabhi @bhabhi_pooja @bhabhi_for_u @madhu_bhabhi @SabaBhabhi @SlutPreeti @chhamiyarani @hema_patel87 @komal_bhatiya @kuttiyaruta @priasen24 @sexipreeti @simran20521 @sissy_candy @randi_aisha @gpinky091 @hottie_simmi86
These experiments have really shown me a very different side of Indian and Pakistani cultures. When it comes to sex, openly they do not appreciate the idea of promiscuity, pre-marital sex or casual sex, but secretly they do fantasize about these things and the internet has given them a way to let their heart out. Although the number of people I followed on twitter is negligible in comparison to the population of these nations so drawing any conclusion for the whole country will be pointless. But considering the low literacy rate and the lack of opportunity to use web technologies for everyone, does indicate that there might be many more with similar ideas whom we can never know about. Anyway, I think these things are there in every community and country around the world, in some cultures they are more open and acceptable in others they are not.