Incest!

Continuing my research on incestuous behavior among people around the world. I have come to the conclusion that it is more common in almost every strata of society as people might think. Incestuous relationships exists between parents and children both real and step parents/children as well as among siblings and cousins. In many countries and religions sexual relationship/marriage is permissible among cousins but I would still consider it to be incestuous if it is in between first cousins.

For past many months I have been chatting on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) in various channels (chat rooms) that allow chats related to incest for example channels like dad&daughtersex and familysex that are available in Undernet and Dalnet networks. I am not sure how much truth is there in what I am told by people about their sexual relationship with their family members, but a common theme that has emerged from all my chats was that such relationships starts at a very early age of the victim (usually young girls). Many would think that young girls are forced into this by their father or elder bother, but in contrast many girls happily started it, thinking that it pleases their father or brother and that they deserve it. Interestingly, I didn’t find any girl who said that she is regretting or has regretted for what she has done, but rather they are in peace with this reality and moving smoothly in their lives.

Going a step further from incest, I have also come across few girls who not only went through sexual relationship with their father but also have been pimped to their uncles and father’s friends. Some of such stories I guess are part of role playing and yes there are many girls out there who have really weird imaginations and fantasies. I guess it’s the same with boys, but since boys do not like to talk about heir fantasies as much as they think about them, it is more likely to find girls chatting about their vivid imaginations. Majority of incestuous relationships I found in eastern European and American culture. Pimping has almost always been reported by European girls.

In short if anything weird that you might imagine today then trust me that has already been committed by somebody in the world. And there are people who have not only broken all the boundaries of human relationships but have also happily embraced it as part of their lifestyle.

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Taking a Step Back

Busy in life, running the rat race and struggling to resolve complexities. That has become a routine for many of us in the modern era. We strive everyday to overcome our hurdles by the principles of hard work and time management. We often forget that while working on the floor we can not see the overall picture of the canvas that we are drawing. In something as complex and vast as our lives we need a helicopter view of what our lives are turning into. And those are the moments when we realise that the path we are on is probably wrong or we could do something differently to achieve our goals. Accessing matters from a distance can highlight mistakes, bring new insights and can give us long sightedness. Therefore, in my opinion for us to live a contented and meaningful life it is important for us to routinely take a step back from our modus operandi and meditate on finding the threads to connect the loose ends that are lost in everyday chaos.

Image sourced from http://www.foodforliving.ie

Are we really free?

I wish all the fellow Indians a very happy 70th Independence Day. Indeed it is a matter of pride for every Indian to celebrate the day for which many people sacrificed their lives or lived under atrocities of their foreign masters. Freedom is a gift given to the present generation for which we should ever be thankful. We have come a long way since the day we gained our freedom and has taken many independent decisions towards the development of our country. However, I still like to question sometimes that are we really free?

Even after 70 years of Independence are we free enough to question our government or a national party without being harassed in one of other way, to press freely without being bought by a political party, to follow and express our religious faith, to eat whatever we like without offending or told by people of other faith and to demand execution of government proceedings without bribery. A bigger question of all would be does this definition of freedom also includes people from lower economic background and women. Women are probably deprived of most of the rights that men enjoy freely in all strata of life. Looking from a womens perspectives in India, it probably doesn’t make any difference if she is under a foreign rule or not since she is in slavery of her family or domestic masters even after her country has gained independence.

Celebrating Independence day should not just be feeling proud upon the fact that our leaders made the foreigners run away but also to ponder over the salient issues of injustice, inequality, religious bigotry, poverty and growing corruption in the government offices. We could only be truly free if we consider ourselves not just to be free physically but also mentally. Our thinking needs to change and it is only by the change in our thinking that we would ever be able to gain our true freedom.

My country is getting sicker day by day!

I have been chauffeuring my mother and two of her colleagues from and to her work today and caught in between of women’s chit chat on several occasions. Among all the womanly gibberish there were some concerning and interesting elements that caught my attention. Most concerning was that many hospitals both private and public have sprung in our city and none of them seem to be empty due to lack of sick people. On the other hand most of them are over crowded and sometimes patients are on the waiting list to be seen. For a country like India it is a good thing that we have an increasing number of hospitals to take care of our people, but it is also a matter of great concern that so many people are still getting ill inspite of all the advancement in health care and clean India movement run by the government.

Some of the reasons that I could think of concerning the health of the Indian people are lack of awareness about health and hygiene, food adulteration, increasing mental stress to cope up with the lifestyle of a growing economy and lack of physical exercise. Of these I think the most concerning are food adulteration and lack of awareness about the hygiene.

I have traveled many places in India and I have never seen a clean public toilet that is maintained by the government. In many places including my city even the private malls do not have clean toilets. Sometimes it feels like that our benchmark for a clean toilet is so low that no matter how much of cleaning is done it is still dirtier as compared to toilets anywhere else in the developed world. Government of India has launched Swach Bharat abhiyan to promote use of toilets and hygiene in the country. However, a turn around change would only be possible when common people understand the importance of hygiene in the context of herd immunity. It doesn’t matter how strong your immunity is, if your neighborhood is weak in collective immunity, then you are more prone to falling ill as compared to the person whose own immunity is low, but lives in a stronger herd. We also have to improve our thinking regarding the importance of constructing good toilet setups at our home. In most of Indian homes toilets are the last place that people allocate the space for while designing their houses. In many homes it is not surprising to find toilets below the stair case or outside in the veranda under a shed or the smallest place possible in the house. To be honest it doesn’t matter how big or small is your toilet as far as it is clean, but it does show the temperament of the people towards hygiene.

We will be celebrating our 70th Independence day tomorrow and even after becoming 70 years old we are still teaching people the basics of health and hygiene. We still do not have any understanding of throwing rubbish in the bins or how to segregate rubbish into wet and dry waste. If you ever go to an old crowded parts of Indian cities you will find people throwing rubbish from their balconies on the street, thinking that their job is done and now it’s government’s problem.

To add up to growing waste management and hygiene issues the current government is all about putting cows on the alter. So many cows on the street littering wherever possible is another nuisance. Hindu people believe in the holiness of cows and therefore anything that comes out of a cow is either holy in itself or has therapeutic value, for example drinking cow piss can get rid of stomach related ailments or rubbing it on a wound or skin allergy can heal it. Many of the Ayurvedic medicines have cow piss as an active ingredient.

Indeed it is proud to think that we are advancing in medical sciences, but having more hospitals does not only shows our advancement but also shows the state of our health. Hence, the more number of hospitals in your city is directly proportional to the more number of sick people your city is generating. The underline cause of the illness is not the lack of medical facility but the lack of hygiene. And in the end we always need to think about our immunity as a fraction of the herd we are part of.

 

Reducing Friction in Life

With the overload of information in our society it’s becoming increasingly difficult to retain and process the information with our human capacity. The major victims of such a conundrum are the elderly. So many things to remember, medical history, bills, how to use new apps, politics, grocery lists, various appointments and several random stuff that we have generated in recent times. It is not very easy even for the young to remember everything they encounter with. This causes friction among people who are either expecting themselves to remember everything or dependent on someone else. Friction in life only adds stress, discomfort and bitterness.

For example recently my mother has been quarreling about my father’s medical history which he always forgets and is totally dependent on my mother to keep a track of it. India doesn’t have a centralized medical information system yet that keeps the track of one’s health and therefore it becomes the responsibility of the patient. A situation has risen that my father needs to see a specialist in two weeks’ time and my mother won’t be available for him then. He is fretting that he wouldn’t be able to explain the doctor about his medical history in my mother’s absence. The friction caused by such a situation lead to shouting and telling each other that they are not responsible or not enough concerned about others etc.

A simpler solution to such a problem could be just writing down everything in a diary or creating a summary that can be handed over to the new specialist. But many people I have encountered who do not want to accept this reality that they can’t remember everything or even if they do remember, sometimes it is difficult for them to explain information in a logical order. In my understanding many people fear to accept this fact is because they do not want to feel embarrassed or look down upon themselves on losing their ability to remember or coping up with the ever growing information overload. In my opinion human brain is not constructed to be a library but it is rather a processor that is meant to think and solve complex problems and not to remember trivial everyday details. Indeed, we do accumulate memories throughout our lives, but those memories should be the important ones and not about your next doctor appointment or grocery lists.

For such things we have readily available help. If someone doesn’t want to keep a hand written diary then it’s really easy to store information, make lists and setup reminders on a smart phone. I can understand that using a smart phone can be a challenge for an elderly but it is still far worse than forgetting important information and causing friction in their lives.

I am in my early 30s, highly qualified with a mental capacity to remember a lot of information, but even I find it much easier to accept the fact that I should spend more of my brain capacity in problem solving rather than remember trivial details and therefore, I use technology to do the donkey work for me. I use Evernote for storing information, Workflowy for making lists, Google calendar for setting up reminders and Dropbox for syncing my important files across my devices. I even have reminders setup for my favorite TV shows because to me it doesn’t matter whether I remember them by myself or I get a reminder from a machine as far as the purpose of watching my favorite TV show is met.