Taking a Step Back

Busy in life, running the rat race and struggling to resolve complexities. That has become a routine for many of us in the modern era. We strive everyday to overcome our hurdles by the principles of hard work and time management. We often forget that while working on the floor we can not see the overall picture of the canvas that we are drawing. In something as complex and vast as our lives we need a helicopter view of what our lives are turning into. And those are the moments when we realise that the path we are on is probably wrong or we could do something differently to achieve our goals. Accessing matters from a distance can highlight mistakes, bring new insights and can give us long sightedness. Therefore, in my opinion for us to live a contented and meaningful life it is important for us to routinely take a step back from our modus operandi and meditate on finding the threads to connect the loose ends that are lost in everyday chaos.

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Reducing Friction in Life

With the overload of information in our society it’s becoming increasingly difficult to retain and process the information with our human capacity. The major victims of such a conundrum are the elderly. So many things to remember, medical history, bills, how to use new apps, politics, grocery lists, various appointments and several random stuff that we have generated in recent times. It is not very easy even for the young to remember everything they encounter with. This causes friction among people who are either expecting themselves to remember everything or dependent on someone else. Friction in life only adds stress, discomfort and bitterness.

For example recently my mother has been quarreling about my father’s medical history which he always forgets and is totally dependent on my mother to keep a track of it. India doesn’t have a centralized medical information system yet that keeps the track of one’s health and therefore it becomes the responsibility of the patient. A situation has risen that my father needs to see a specialist in two weeks’ time and my mother won’t be available for him then. He is fretting that he wouldn’t be able to explain the doctor about his medical history in my mother’s absence. The friction caused by such a situation lead to shouting and telling each other that they are not responsible or not enough concerned about others etc.

A simpler solution to such a problem could be just writing down everything in a diary or creating a summary that can be handed over to the new specialist. But many people I have encountered who do not want to accept this reality that they can’t remember everything or even if they do remember, sometimes it is difficult for them to explain information in a logical order. In my understanding many people fear to accept this fact is because they do not want to feel embarrassed or look down upon themselves on losing their ability to remember or coping up with the ever growing information overload. In my opinion human brain is not constructed to be a library but it is rather a processor that is meant to think and solve complex problems and not to remember trivial everyday details. Indeed, we do accumulate memories throughout our lives, but those memories should be the important ones and not about your next doctor appointment or grocery lists.

For such things we have readily available help. If someone doesn’t want to keep a hand written diary then it’s really easy to store information, make lists and setup reminders on a smart phone. I can understand that using a smart phone can be a challenge for an elderly but it is still far worse than forgetting important information and causing friction in their lives.

I am in my early 30s, highly qualified with a mental capacity to remember a lot of information, but even I find it much easier to accept the fact that I should spend more of my brain capacity in problem solving rather than remember trivial details and therefore, I use technology to do the donkey work for me. I use Evernote for storing information, Workflowy for making lists, Google calendar for setting up reminders and Dropbox for syncing my important files across my devices. I even have reminders setup for my favorite TV shows because to me it doesn’t matter whether I remember them by myself or I get a reminder from a machine as far as the purpose of watching my favorite TV show is met.

Incest!!

I enjoy chatting on IRC more than, for example chatting in one of the Yahoo chat rooms, it has many more channels for various interests and I personally find fewer fake or bot accounts. In those plethora of chat channels there are many dedicated to sex chats and to my surprise there are quite a few channels for chats related to Incest behavior.

So I decided to do an experiment and chat with people in those channels for a few weeks. So I joined channels like #incest #familysex #dadanddaughtersex in DalNet and UnderNet networks. I personally believe in straight post marital sex, but I was really surprised to talk to people who are not only into promiscuous behavior outside but also within their families. And to add to my surprise most of the people in the #incest channel were from Pakistan. A country so conservative, with a religion so strict, has such a culture going on. Although thinking about it from another angle Islam does allow marriages between cousins, so they are into incest of some definition, but sex between father and daughter or between immediate siblings is just too much for me. If you do not trust my words then connect to DalNet and join #incest channel and you will find 90% of the people are from Pakistan.

I also talked to a young married woman, according to her she had slept with her dad, granddad, two of her nephews apart from her husband. There were many people in those channels who were just there for role playing and that they are not incest in real life. But to me even thinking about having sex with one of my family members is so awkward and sinful.

I asked one of the girls I was chatting to, is that allowed in a country like Pakistan and the answer was yes, probably not openly, but people are involved in such things. Again to me its a double standard of the Muslim community, at one side, they project themselves to be so holy and God fearing and on the other hand they are also involved in such things. I understand that we all are humans and are equally likely to fall into temptations and sins, but it’s also important for us to accept it and repent from it. Or atleast don’t point the fingers on others when there is so much shit going on in ourselves.